Frightening isn’t it when your faced with someone who has real or perceived power over you when their core values aren’t aligned with yours. I and many people across the globe didn’t get a restful night sleep after watching America vote to have a leader who presents as a narcissistic crazy man who doesn’t value the core values of democracy.
Driving to work today I was listening to BBC world service, leaders from democracy’s all over the globe were all in their own words saying the same thing.
“We can work with the new president, ……. by focusing on our shared values.”
“We will collaborate and manage the changes ahead cooperatively as we have done with past presidents”
But what happens if there aren’t any shared values? What happens when the leader doesn’t want to collaborate or cooperate? What happens when one person holding all the power has a very different vision of what the relationship is now, and will be in their powerful future?
There is an opportunity for some self learning for all of us today, as we sit back and reel at the monumental change in the world order.
Are you living with a person or situation in your life today, where there are few if any shared values, be that at work or in your personal life.?
I see it all the time in relationships, personal and professional.
The bullying leader who has a strategy and agenda that they believe must be implemented regardless of the cost - human or otherwise. Employees who are left disempowered, feeling disrespected and undervalued resulting in a turnover of staff, and a drain of intellectual property and cultural wisdom. The bully wrongly concluding, they if don’t like the heat …get out of MY Whitehouse.
The divorcing parents who, fight over children and assets, needing to win, because the law says they are entitled. Usually somewhere I see the pain of enforced change coupled with beliefs around rejection and fear of a future they have no idea how to visualise. Any memories of shared values and vision as parents is extinguished through fear and anger. The love has gone and the communication is by texts and lawyers letters, continuing the battle over teaspoons and parenting rights.
The client who enters their work environment everyday, scared of what will be asked of them to accept as ok behaviour. Unchallenged racism, sexism, and dishonesty where you’re encouraged if not instructed to leave and personal ideas of integrity outside the workplace. Where the values of the company are printed in on the website and trotted out by HR, but are not seen or felt by the people who come to work to contribute in a fair and open environment, only to be belittled and ridiculed by valueless leadership. A work culture of fear and intimidation that results in unhappy people turning slowly into unhappy hamsters on the working wheel.
If you don’t have a healthy and confident ability to respect and empathise, the focus reverts to winning with an unwavering belief that you need, and must be RIGHT.
When we watch The Donald on TV... it’s that very belief in himself and his opinions that strike terror in our souls. The Donald truly believes he is RIGHT about “everything” that comes out of his mouth, and touched by his grubby little hands. Inconvenient truths are belittled and discarded. The Donald absolutely believes he’s RIGHT - about everything and anything.
The world truth now is that this man now IS the power broker, he has the mandate and authority to enforce his will. I suspect he will be no different than he has been in his life thus far. I see him as the ultimate school bully, who has an entourage that believe they’re safer standing in his tribe, or are to scared to do anything but follow just in case the wrath of the bully is focused toward them. His entourage is admittedly a large tribe of angry disaffected American voters, Republican politicians, money hungry corporates and rich individuals who need to get on board THE Donald train fast. They want and need to believe they can and will be great again. (Whatever that means exactly?)
We all need to review our values today.
The emotional underbelly of our civilisation was unleashed.
Crazed frothing dogs of hatred now feel empowered to share their rhetoric. Just take 10 minuets to see the hate pouring from social media and Fox TV. Empathy, integrity or even a wiff of emotional intelligence is hard to find . The racist, xenophobic, misogynistic , homophobic bullies are now running the playground .You don't have to live in the USA for the smell of difunctional power to found. It will permeate into all of our lives.
There are people we know, friends family and colleagues who are a little bit braver after the election. We have another world leader devoid of democratic values and some people among us will take this as the green light to emulate The Donald's beliefs and values.
Every one of us need to be clear about what we value and believe. Every one of us will need to find the courage and fortitude to speak out and challenge what I sadly believe will now become the new norm.
I’m not a psychic and I don’t have a crystal ball. I will however predict that his entourage will see The Donald strut around intimidating and harming the emotional equilibrium of an entire country, quite soon.
You see without core values to follow, as I said at the beginning, we begin to feel unsafe when lead by people who don’t display integrity and empathy. (Hillary take note!)
So, what can we learn?
Take a little time to review who you are, what are your core values and are the choices you’re making in your life based on who you believe you are.
That uncomfortable feeling we have about The Donald, might just be an opportunity for you to dig a little bit deeper into your own soul and realign your core values to the choices and behaviours you’re living with.
If you don’t have an emotionally healthy, and confident ability to respect and empathise, if you don’t chose to be the man or woman you want to be in the world - what exactly is it you’re here to contribute?
I’m not sure if anyone can control or council The Donald. You and I certainly have no opportunity to change the will of the American people. But what you can do is ensure you’re living your life with your values aligned with your tribe. We are all going to have to dig deep, find the empathy and values we believe in, to permeate the world we inhabit, one person at a time.
WE CAN CHANGE THE WORLD, ONE PERSON AT A TIME……START WITH YOU!